6. Another Sign From Heaven

What does this say? What can it mean?

I think it says 'Believer.' Or Bieber? I came across the graffiti while walking a 4 mile leg home from work, as the transmission of my truck is being rebuilt. The truck and I are one; former titans of prosperity and willful optimism whose recent bodies of work have been disastrous, and who are being rebuilt.

So, Believer. I mean, there it is, plain as the receding daylight that was guiding me over the rocky sides of Parmer Lane. Honeycomb scrawled, away from prying eyes, by some tough kid who perhaps was also looking to get his mojo back.

I don't believe in much, which is, I guess, part of the problem. Constantly riding the middle line, I'm never enough of a cynical wreck to be a disaster, and therefore interesting, but I'm never enough of a believer to be willfully optimistic, and therefore consistently happy. Happiness and Belief are intertwined in surprising ways - how many studies have been done that show the religious to be among the happiest souls?

I don't think that belief and doubt are mutually exclusive, because when I speak of belief, I speak in terms of this graffiti scrawl. I'm talking about, and looking for, the puzzling bits of ephemera that appear to us all and quietly shape what we eventually become. I'd like to think, walking home, deeply buried in the foggy rebuilding process of my very being, that I happened upon another sign from Heaven - Believer. Things get better, things get worse - but things get better.

Of course it might say Bieber. Or it might be some gangland murder code. For right now, Believer suits me fine.